If it’s
The truth
That’s all I know
I look for you
And just say
I know
The lie
That was
Is now
The last
I’ll go
For you
Before I sleep
I hear you say
You say
I stay
Near the edge
And waste my time
Just waste my time
~ Mazzy Star
At this exact moment, that seems like a loaded question to ask myself. I have been teaching yoga for five years and one of my very first students, Bill, just passed away. In a time of reflection I have realized that you really don’t know how much impact someone has on your life as well as you on someone else’s.
I remember the first time that Bill attended my Yoga class. He was new to Yoga; new as in it was his first class ever. However, I was also new because I at that time had just graduated from doing my Yoga Teacher Training, we were new together.
He had an amazing witty sense of humor. In fact, I use to call him The Troublemaker. He would show up and say, ‘What have you got for us today?’ The other students in the class would laugh because as you do in my classes, everyone gets to know one another, and at times it seems like more of a social gathering than Yoga.
Bill was a family man who loved his daughters very much. He would show up to class with his daughter and then off they’d go for their frequent father/daughter dates. I always thought to myself how cool, how special it was that a father and daughter would come to practice together. What a unique bond. He was so very kind, always with a smile on his face. Bill was a man full of life, who soaked up every moment. I thank him for being my student, and for trusting me when I had no idea what I was doing.
A week later I found out that my dear friend lost his husband unexpectedly. He was a wonderful, charismatic beautiful man. I hope that he is dancing in the stars, kissing the sun, and hugging the moon wherever he is.
So what is the answer to this question as I tell you about the loss of two great people who impacted my life?
I am reminded that life is short. That no matter how much control we think we have; we don’t. Life is unpredictable. What can I control? I can be responsible for myself as a human being. I can choose to act with integrity in an authentic way leaving petty emotions where they belong, which is in nothingness. I can choose to find my happiness. Instead of saying I want to do this or I wish I could. I am going to do it. Whether it is telling my parents that I love them or traveling to India like I’ve been saying I’m going to do for years. There are so many things that I want to do in my life. I want to make an imprint. I want to make a difference.
I’ve learned that we should all live the life that we want to be in love with now. Love the people, your people who you refer to as your righteous posse. Your path is for you. Get on it and design your story because no one can do it like you. There is, no other you.
Written By
Jessica Hinkson
“Cherish your solitude. Take trains by yourself to places you have never been. Sleep alone under the stars. Learn how to drive a stick shift. Go so far away that you stop being afraid of not coming back. Say no whenever you don’t want to do something. Say yes if your instincts are strong, even if everyone around you disagrees. Decide whether you want to be liked or admired. Decide if fitting in is more important than finding out what you’re doing here. Believe in kissing.”
~ Eve Ensler
We are born to love as we are born to die, and between the heartbeats of those two great mysteries lies all the tangled undergrowth of our tiny lives. There is nowhere to go but through. And, so we walk on, lost, and lost again, in the mapless wilderness of love.
~ Unknown
…she loved mysteries so much that she became one…
Nothing worth doing is completed in our lifetime. Therefore, we are saved by hope. Nothing true or beautiful or good makes complete sense in any immediate context of history; Therefore we are saved by faith. Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone. Therefore we are saved by love. No virtuous act is quite as virtuous from the standpoint of our friend or foe as from our own; Therefore we are saved by the final form of love which is forgiveness.
Forgiveness is freeing up and putting to better use the energy once consumed by holding grudges, harboring resentments, and nursing unhealed wounds. It is rediscovering the strengths we always had and relocating our limitless capacity to understand and accept other people and ourselves. People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth.
~ Reinhold Niebuhr
Sugar Lady Blue / In The Nights Swimming In Her Pillow Her Tears Go To / Lost In Her Thoughts About The Past, The Present, The Future; She Fears From Her View / Hurt Not To Be Hurt / She Got Lost So She Worked / Reaching High / Dreaming Big / This Light Shines On The Sun Like It’s The Last Glory Dig / Purge From Her Soul / She Yearns To Find Home /
Please Don’t Leave Me / Give You Her A Chance See / In The Flowering Fields Our Eyes Light As The Day / We See / We Be / You See / You Be /
Sugar Lady Blue Alone Most Nights / The Sky Star Grey She Wonders Of Wonders / In Her Wine Glass She Can’t Find The Answers / A Memory Of Touch / A Memory Fitting So Right / She Wanders Through Her Head From Morning Til Night /
Please Don’t Leave Me / Give You Her A Chance See / In The Flowering Fields Our Eyes Light As The Day / We See / We Be / You See / You Be /
Grass Hugs Talking / Spoon Love Rockin’ / The Meadows Our Magic / Your Hold Incapacitated / Daily, Sugar Lady Blue Remembers The Feeling / She Lies In A Yearning / How Is Life So Full Of Learning / She’ll Wash The Dishes In A Distant Hollow / One Chore To The Next / An Automatic State Is Her Arrest /
Please Don’t Leave Me / Give You Her A Chance See / In The Flowering Fields Our Eyes light as The Day / We See / We Be / You See / You Be /
~ Jessica Hinkson
This song of mine will wind its music around you,
my child, like the fond arms of love.
The song of mine will touch your forehead
like a kiss of blessing.
When you are alone it will sit by your side and
whisper in your ear, when you are in the crowd
it will fence you about with aloofness.
My song will be like a pair of wings to your dreams,
it will transport your heart to the verge of the unknown.
It will be like the faithful star overhead
when dark night is over your road.
My song will sit in the pupils of your eyes,
and will carry your sight into the heart of things.
And when my voice is silenced in death,
my song will speak in your living heart.
~Rabindranath Tagore
Since your feelings may be oscillating back and forth, it might seem easier for you to deal with your emotions by hiding from the rest of the world. Learning to watch your emotions with detachment today could help you cope with these fluctuations better. You can take a few minutes every hour during the day to watch each inhale and exhale of your breath. Once your breathing becomes even you may consider imagining that you have a marquee in your mind on which your thoughts float. As you watch your thoughts, you might want to name them, such as anger, happiness, fear, etc. Observing your thoughts in this way may help you realize that your mind is always changing and, because of this, your moods do not have to depend on your thoughts.
Naming our emotions allows us to see that since they vary constantly, we do not have to get wrapped up in them. The times when we are moody occur because we pay attention to our mood swings and let them direct how we feel. Seeing that every second our thoughts and emotions incessantly change, however, enables us to release the hold they have on us. Realizing that our thoughts do not have to define our moods helps us feel more secure, grounded, and at ease with them. By detaching from your emotions today, you will discover that true comfort rests in letting go.
~ Author Unknown
Encountering the deer in the wild, our breath catches – we are transfixed by their graceful features and delicate movements. The tender beauty of these beasts has not gone unnoticed by our ancestors. The deer is linked to the arts, specifically poetry and music in ancient Celtic animal lore due to its graceful form. Both Celts and Native Americans observed the deer to be savvy when it came to finding the best herbs. These earth-bound peoples would follow the deer to prime herb patches – many of which proved to be highly beneficial in their medicinal purposes.
Just as the deer has an uncanny sense of where to find the green freshness earth provides, we can ask the deer within ourselves to seek out our inner treasures. In meditation or day dream, go on a spiritual hike with the deer. See yourself walking in the woods with the deer leading you into amazing depths within your soul. Each step you and the deer take will lead you deeper into your spiritual knowing, and to limitless treasure within.
The deer (particularly the doe, females) has the capacity for infinite generosity. Their heart rhythms pulse in soft waves of kindness. Match that graciousness by offering your trust to her. She will reward you by leading you to the most powerful spiritual medicine you can fathom.
In China the deer is a symbol of happiness and good fortune. Indeed, its name in Chinese is a homonym for the word abundance.
Why have I provided you with animal symbolism about a deer? Well, try and be open to it as you dive in to reading From Yoga To High Heels new guest blogger Kate Drummond’s story, Be The Leading Lady of Your Life. Trust me, it will all make sense as you head into this spiritual journey.
Happy Day!
Jessica Hinkson
From Yoga To High Heels 