Fearless

images-41“Cherish your solitude. Take trains by yourself to places you have never been. Sleep alone under the stars. Learn how to drive a stick shift. Go so far away that you stop being afraid of not coming back. Say no whenever you don’t want to do something. Say yes if your instincts are strong, even if everyone around you disagrees. Decide whether you want to be liked or admired. Decide if fitting in is more important than finding out what you’re doing here. Believe in kissing.”

~ Eve Ensler

Guest Piece for Ardent Pictures – Coffee, Tequila, and Making Movies

This week it was my turn to be a guest! Check out my guest piece for Ardent Pictures – Coffee, Tequila, and Making Movies. This is the first of a few guest pieces that I will be doing for them, so be sure to stop by!

xxoo Jess

You Need To See Things More Clearly

Fall is my absolute favorite time of year! I get to make yummy hearty soups, TIFF just finished, Nuit Blanche is around the corner, not to mention open fires, getting cozy, and surrounding yourself with love. Whether it be that you re-commit to your yoga practice, dive in to a friendship that seems to have fallen by the wayside, or giving yourself a time out to read that book you have been wanting to read since last January. Now is a great time to re-evaluate. To ask yourself what else it is that you need to do to make your journey a content one. It is an amazing time of year to get outside for long walks. Walking in times of stress, anxiety, or restlessness has always been something that has brought me a sense of calm. I take my golden retriever, who lives for long walks, and I breathe. Sometimes I play a game with myself when I feel like I have no control over what is happening in my life. It is a game that I made up for myself years a go, back, when I had attended the Neighborhood Playhouse School of the Theatre in New York.

During my first year at the Playhouse one of my teachers had asked me to look at a desk and tell him what I saw. Besides the desk, I told him I saw a pen, some paper, and that was about all. He patiently  pointed out to me that there was a shadow that was mirroring the pen on the desk. There were particles of dust both on the desk, and floating through the air due to the ray of sunlight shining through on to the desk. The surface of the desk also had a color, it was smooth, it was old. Not to mention the paper- I could go on and on. The point was, as he said, ‘You need to see things more clearly.‘ It was true.

I realized that it is scary to really look at something or someone. To really take someone in. It is scary to see them but most importantly to allow yourself to be vulnerable enough to be seen. So over the years when I walk, I ask myself, ‘How much can I see?‘ I ignite my five senses. What colors do I see? What are the sounds that I hear? What does the surface of what I’m walking on feel like? Is it hot? Is it cold? What does the air taste like? What do I smell? I get as specific as I can. Why do I do this? I do this because it takes me out of my head. You know that noise upstairs, the thoughts that should technically be leaving and entering, seem to enter but not leave. By walking, my breath moves down towards my pelvis. By walking, I get my heart rate up. By walking, I am moving blocked energy. By walking, I find my feet again. My mind becomes quiet. My breath steady. I am grounded. I see clearly. I am present.

Written By

Jessica Hinkson

Introducing Guest Blogger, Cosmetic Genius: Marc Brunet!

Where should I begin? Marc Brunet is someone who is very special to me. He is the beauty guru, the coesmtic genius, the brain, and the man who gave birth to Vancouver’s legendary BeautyMark. A boutique containing niche beauty products among other fabulous brands! He was also my boss for four years, and I have never been so spoiled, so taken care of before. We may be talking beauty here folks, but behind the beauty we all know is the heart. It is after all, where true beauty comes from. When I worked at BeautyMark we weren’t just a team, we were a family. We laughed all of the time, accept when it came to Sunday cleaning…we had project runway walk offs, we had glorious dinners, but above all we were friends. Please allow me to introduce to you, Marc Brunet, Five Face Cleansers You Need To Know About!

XO Jess

Novelist and Journlist, Angela Carter on the Mystery of Film

Strangers used to gather together at the cinema and sit together in the dark, like Ancient Greeks participating in the mysteries, dreaming the same dream in unison.
Angela Carter

Meet Makeup Artist Extraordinaire Erin Guenter!

It’s a beautiful sunny day in Toronto and TIFF festivities begin tonight! Everyone is running around the city picking up last minute items for their fabulously planned outfits…but what about the makeup? How do those celebrities that we admire so much get red carpet ready? I know I’ve wondered, and I am sure you have too! That’s why you should check out Erin Guenter’s, How To Be Red Carpet Ready…On A Drugstore Dime! 

With ten easy steps to follow she tells you just how to make yourselves in to the Glamour Goddess that you all are! Plus she has shared all of her favorite products that are not only affordable, but easy to obtain. All around this article is full of great tips for any event where you want to look your best! From one beauty junkie to another, don’t worry about hiding your wallets this time around! Have fun and get ready to rock that red carpet in your bold beautiful way!

XO Jess

I Ride, and I Ride.

Iggy Pop
“The Passenger”
_Lust for Life_

I am a passenger
And I ride and I ride
I ride through the city’s backside
I see the stars come out of the sky
Yeah, they’re bright in a hollow sky
You know it looks so good tonight

I am a passenger
I stay under glass

I look through my window so bright
I see the stars come out tonight
I see the bright and hollow sky
Over the city’s a rip in the sky
And everything looks good tonight

Singin’ la la la la la-la-la la
La la la la la-la-la la
La la la la la-la-la la la-la

Get into the car
We’ll be the passenger
We’ll ride through the city tonight
See the city’s ripped insides
We’ll see the bright and hollow sky
We’ll see the stars that shine so bright
The sky was made for us tonight

Oh the passenger
How how he rides
Oh the passenger
He rides and he rides
He looks through his window
What does he see?

He sees the sided hollow sky
He see the stars come out tonight
He sees the city’s ripped backsides
He sees the winding ocean drive
And everything was made for you and me
All of it was made for you and me
’cause it just belongs to you and me
So let’s take a ride and see what’s mine

Singing…
Oh, the passenger
He rides and he rides
He sees things from under glass
He looks through his window’s eye
He sees the things he knows are his
He sees the bright and hollow sky
He sees the city asleep at night
He sees the stars are out tonight
And all of it is yours and mine
And all of it is yours and mine
Oh, let’s ride and ride and ride and ride…
Singing…

Tomorrow is the second full moon of the month. August was all about power. Being empowered as opposed to dis-empowered. It was a month for everyone to reflect on the relationships we have in our lives on all levels and really investigate what works versus what doesn’t work. The investigation is indeed life long and sometimes above and beyond any challenge that we foresaw in our young past. In our youth we are all untouchable at one point. Our futures predicted. All dreams a reality because we stated it so, out, in to the big wide universe. As we begin to leave our teen years, moving in to what we think is young adult; our twenties, we realize that life is a wide jagged path, and, no, there isn’t a fairy rock god to grant us our dreams. There is work to be done. Have you asked yourself lately what that work is, that you still need to do?

I have been asking myself all month. There has been an ongoing conversation amongst a few friends, and, I about life. Where are we going? What is next? I feel like am the passenger…I ride, and I ride. I feel like I have been riding by myself and that my higher self won’t get in to the car with me. I realize that it is because I have been being inauthentic to myself. I still try to do things that aren’t a true representation of who I am, which leaves me feeling unclean. Over these last few weeks I have really had to take a look at myself and figure out what it was/is that I was still refusing to look at. I figured it out, and I’m not doing it anymore. What is it for you?

Best To You,

Jess

Common Burn

Simple things like you over cold round your beauty
That stay and burning me
Love me hang around even if it’s just some way to have

Some common burn
A common burn

So I spent the night in someone’s house that you…
Oh simple me that… but we haven’t

A common burn
A common burn

Aware of…
So many tunes before you could so round and…
Everything that you score just don’t come home to say

You… sleep
When you know you’re burning
Someone

That common burning
That common burning

Mazzy Star

We meet all sorts of people every day in our lives. Being that we are all human beings we crave connection. Sometimes you happen to meet one person in particular who for a moment in time or perhaps a few more, universe willing; you have a common burn. You feel good being around them, you feel uplifted, your bodies fit. When you part ways, the flame is still ignited, the burning, traveling, moving through your body. You have been affected. There has been a transference of energy. It goes deeper than the physical self. It has been an experience. One that will truly shift your life, that you will always remember.

Common – Belonging equally to or shared equally by two or more; joint.

Burn – To consume.

Jessica Hinkson

Smells Like Nirvana-I’m With The Band

It was the nineties, I was a teenager, and I had just returned from LA where I had been spending my summers training. A few other dancers from my troupe and I had heard that auditions were being held at the Vancouver Public Library for Weird Al Yankovic’s upcoming show. He needed dancers for “Smells Like Nirvana” his parody of Nirvana’s song “Smells Like Teen Spirit.” Just like video they wanted a couple of dancers in cheerleading outfits and sneakers. I loved my grunge rock bands, and I thought this was an amazing opportunity. Touring with Prince would have to wait. We arrived at the audition and to my surprise there were not very many people there. I mean, obviously Weird Al was definitely not Kurt Cobain, but that’s why the power of imagination is so crucial! Besides, who doesn’t want to get up on a stage and perform in front of thousands of screaming teenagers, even if the screaming isn’t for you?!

Z95.3 FM was hosting the audition, so it was live. We quickly learned the choreography and performed it a few times. I won or rather was chosen along with one other girl. They interviewed us, I told them what a great honor it was to receive this opportunity, and that I was so excited to be a part of the show. I walked away and couldn’t believe the BS that was coming out of my mouth…once again my imagination was getting the best of me. In the weeks leading up to the concert, my name was all over the radio station. I felt like a local celebrity, while trying to keep my composure at the same time. I would run in to people, I would wait for them to bring up the fact that they had heard my name on the radio, and then I would pretend it was no big deal. I was always told in the face of success, it’s better to be humble.

The night finally arrived and I had been given two front row tickets. My mother and my aunt claimed them. I made my way downtown to the Pacific Coliseum and when I arrived backstage they had a pass for me with my name on it, and showed me to my dressing room. The other girl arrived and we were talking about how much fun the show was going to be! An hour in to hanging out, fixing makeup that didn’t need to be fixed; we received a knock on the door. The band was stuck at the border and the show may be cancelled.  I began panicking! This wasn’t supposed to happen it was my night to shine! I demanded that we go over our routine. The show wasn’t cancelled yet!

Half an hour later we get another knock on the door and one of the roadies drags a trunk into our dressing room, telling us to get dressed. The show starts in half an hour. Excited that the show was back on we opened the trunk to take out our costumes; more like almost puked and passed out. The stench that came from this trunk was disgusting. I picked up the bra top and it was drenched in cold sweat from the girl who had worn it from the night before. Slowly we began to change out of our clothes and put on the Sweaty Betty costumes. As were just about dressed we heard this stirring noise coming from behind us, it was Weird Al standing there. Besides the fact that he was obviously weird, he was nice and polite. We exchanged a few pleasantries and just as fast, he was gone.

The show had started, the music was loud, and adrenaline was now beginning to pulse through my veins. There was a hard knock on our door. Another roadie had come to gather us for our shining moment on stage! As he was leading us to the stage, the music getting louder and louder, my adrenaline pulsing higher, I instantly felt this surge of energy I had never experienced before.

The ecstatic clapping and cheering from the thousands of fans was explosive and overwhelming! The roadie saw my face, had a chuckle, and pointed me towards the stairs of the stage. As we were standing there, the lights flashing, the bass going, drums kicking, Weird Al(being weird), the crowd cheering, I thought I was going to puke. I noticed the puke buckets that were strategically placed on either side of the stage, now understanding why they were there. All of a sudden I felt a hard shove on my back telling to me to, ‘GO!’ I had gotten lost in a panic ridden daydream. I am not sure what came over me but I when I got out there I went NUTS! We did our routine, which wasn’t very long and then the other dancer and I looked at each other having a telepathic conversation.

‘Oh my god! What should we do?’

‘I don’t know! Oh MY God!’

‘Mosh?!’

 My answer was a combination of shaking my head YES frantically while looking like I was in the Exorcist at the same time as I began to flail my body all over the stage. At that moment no one could doubt my commitment to my craft! I could see my mom and aunt cheering, so proud they were! I was having a fantastic time bouncing all over the stage, feeling the heat of the music!

At that moment in mid air, something compelled me to open my eyes. I did, as did the bass player! We both realized that I was a millisecond away from landing on his jugular! I had a Oh F**** look as did he, and again with a telepathic conversation I tried to torque my legs’ to try and change how I would land, he thankfully rolled out of the way of disaster! I have to give him all of the credit he saved his own life. I was an out of control mosher. The song finally came to a finish and our job was done. My sweat had now become one with all of the other girls sweat in the costume from their obviously hard but committed moshing from previous shows. I felt high, I felt like I should have been a rockstar!

The show was done, our job was done, and we put our drenched costumes back in to their home; the trunk. With a little pat saluting the costumes as they made their way to the next show; I met up with my mom and aunt. They were still disinfecting their faces from Weird Al spitting on them during the show. A perk to being in the front row, but hey, at least he didn’t pee on them!

Written By

Jessica Hinkson