Before I Sleep

images-45If it’s
The truth
That’s all I know
I look for you
And just say
I know
The lie
That was
Is now
The last
I’ll go
For you
Before I sleep
I hear you say
You say
I stay
Near the edge
And waste my time
Just waste my time

~ Mazzy Star

Sugar Lady Blue

Sugar Lady Blue / In The Nights Swimming In Her Pillow Her Tears Go To / Lost In Her Thoughts About The Past, The Present, The Future; She Fears From Her View / Hurt Not To Be Hurt / She Got Lost So She Worked / Reaching High / Dreaming Big / This Light Shines On The Sun Like It’s The Last Glory Dig / Purge From Her Soul / She Yearns To Find Home /

Please Don’t Leave Me / Give You Her A Chance See / In The Flowering Fields Our Eyes Light As The Day / We See / We Be / You See / You Be /

Sugar Lady Blue Alone Most Nights / The Sky Star Grey She Wonders Of Wonders / In Her Wine Glass She Can’t Find The Answers / A Memory Of Touch / A Memory Fitting So Right / She Wanders Through Her Head From Morning Til Night /

Please Don’t Leave Me / Give You Her A Chance See / In The Flowering Fields Our Eyes Light As The Day / We See / We Be / You See / You Be /

Grass Hugs Talking / Spoon Love Rockin’ / The Meadows Our Magic / Your Hold Incapacitated / Daily, Sugar Lady Blue Remembers The Feeling / She Lies In A Yearning / How Is Life So Full Of Learning / She’ll Wash The Dishes In A Distant Hollow / One Chore To The Next / An Automatic State Is Her Arrest /

Please Don’t Leave Me / Give You Her A Chance See / In The Flowering Fields Our Eyes light as The Day / We See / We Be / You See / You Be /

Dancing in the wind~ Jessica Hinkson

My Song

This song of mine will wind its music around you,
my child, like the fond arms of love.

The song of mine will touch your forehead
like a kiss of blessing.

When you are alone it will sit by your side and
whisper in your ear, when you are in the crowd
it will fence you about with aloofness.

My song will be like a pair of wings to your dreams,
it will transport your heart to the verge of the unknown.

It will be like the faithful star overhead
when dark night is over your road.

My song will sit in the pupils of your eyes,
and will carry your sight into the heart of things.

And when my voice is silenced in death,
my song will speak in your living heart.

~Rabindranath Tagore

Lovers

On Love. Send Me An Angel.

Mirror BallSerious Mysterious was a persona that I identified with at a very young age. Every love scene that I saw in a movie was a love scene that I hoped, I dreamed would happen to me. The first film that had a more dramatic affect on me than others was a film called RAD. The film was made in 1986 and it was about an intense young man who had set out to win an epic BMX race. It was deep. This intense guy was a bit of an outsider and the cool kids gave him a hard time until the night of the school dance. Where he rode in to the gym with this other outsider girl under a mirror ball and did what I interpreted to be a BMX love duet. Everyone who was at the dance that night, including the principal of the school was envious of them. As they BMX’d around the dance floor to Send Me An Angel by Real Life I decided that this was how I would meet my soulmate, my knight in shining armor. I also decided that I needed to learn all of those BMX tricks so that I would be ready for him when he rode up to the gymnasium at one of our dances. I started stealing my brothers BMX bike and attempting all sorts of tricks that I had seen on a television screen once. From pop a wheelies to putting my two big toes in between the spokes of my front wheel because I saw it once in that film, I was convinced that the wheel would keep turning. I was wrong. The bike flipped me over the front of it and I had a rather significant moment staring up at the sky while I caught my breath. Not to mention the loads of princess bandaids and polysporin my mother went through covering my wounds of the day. Skidding through a puddle is more complicated than one would think.

Highschool DanceMy knight in shining armor never did show up at any of my school dances. I did dunk a boys sneakers in a mud puddle once…turns out that wasn’t a good way to flirt either. I blame Punky Brewster for that! I got caught up in the idea of being my favorite character of the moment through watching films and t.v. shows like every other kid. Whatever character Molly Ringwald was playing – I was her. Especially in Sixteen Candles and The Breakfast Club. I wanted to be one of the kids in the Goonies, and I wished that I had a pet like Falkor from The NeverEnding Story. I had so many ideas about the way that I would fall in love, how the whole scenario would play out, what he would look like, the list would go on and on. Remember how much fun it was to daydream? To dance to your favorite love song, singing your heart out no matter how unfortunate the sound was… Remember how exciting it was to be giddy and nervous and actually allowing yourself to be as you were instead of trying to be cool. I remember. I had SO much fun. If only dating and falling in love were that simple.

I find it fascinating that when someone has a broken heart, the first thing they ask a friend is, ‘What is wrong with me?’ The friend always replies with a sincere smile, ‘There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You just haven’t met the right person, and you deserve that and more.’ You thank your friend, a hug is exchanged and then you lock yourself to the confines of your bedroom listening to the most morbid song that triggers you at the moment on repeat while doing spooky renditions of what you were close to announcing as your new love poem. There are repetitive thoughts that your friend is probably lying to you. The replay of the breakup scenario is zooming through your mind faster than a movie on fast forward. The truth is my friends no one is lying. There are so many people searching for love. We are all in the same boat. I have no advice accept fall in love with yourself first. When you do, that is when love will meet you.

Bohemian Love” All these years I’ve been searching for an impossible love.”

Marguerite Duras

Written By

Jessica Hinkson

 

 

 

 

 

 

To Us, The Music Makers

Bohemian“We are the music makers, And we are the dreamers of dreams, Wandering by lone sea-breakers, And sitting by desolate streams; – World-losers and world-forsakers, On whom the pale moon gleams; Yet we are the movers and shakers Of the world for ever, it seems”

My Leonard Cohen Experience

Leonard CohenI loved you in the morning, our kisses deep and warm,
your hair upon the pillow like a sleepy golden storm,
yes, many loved before us, I know that we are not new,
in city and in forest they smiled like me and you,
but now it’s come to distances and both of us must try,
your eyes are soft with sorrow,
Hey, that’s no way to say goodbye.

I’m not looking for another as I wander in my time,
walk me to the corner, our steps will always rhyme
you know my love goes with you as your love stays with me,
it’s just the way it changes, like the shoreline and the sea,
but let’s not talk of love or chains and things we can’t untie,
your eyes are soft with sorrow,
Hey, that’s no way to say goodbye.

I loved you in the morning, our kisses deep and warm,
your hair upon the pillow like a sleepy golden storm,
yes many loved before us, I know that we are not new,
in city and in forest they smiled like me and you,
but let’s not talk of love or chains and things we can’t untie,
your eyes are soft with sorrow,
Hey, that’s no way to say goodbye.

– Leonard Cohen

I went to see Leonard Cohen at the Air Canada Centre last night here in Toronto. I had been told that it would be a life changing experience. I had no idea what that meant until the show began last night. From the moment I heard his voice, the music strumming; I was mesmerized. I honestly felt like I was at church having a religious experience. I laughed, I was brought to tears, I felt connected to the human race. Connected in that we are all one. His voice was soothing to the ear. His generosity as a performer undeniable. He said, “Friends I don’t know if we will see each other again, so we’re going to give you everything we’ve got.” I can confirm that he kept his promise, and am I ever thankful for the experience. Profoundly affected. I am.

Written By

Jessica Hinkson

I Don’t Know Where I Stand

Funny day, looking for laughter and finding it there
Sunny day, braiding wild flowers and leaves in my hair
Picked up a pencil and wrote “I love you” in my finest hand
Wanted to send it, but I don’t know where I stand

Telephone, even the sound of your voice is still new
All alone in California and talking to you
And feeling too foolish and strange to say the words that I had planned
I guess it’s too early, ’cause I don’t know where I stand

Crickets call, courting their ladies in star-dappled green
Thickets tall, until the morning comes up like a dream
All muted and misty, so drowsy now I’ll take what sleep I can
I know that I miss you, but I don’t know where I stand
I know that I miss you, but I don’t know where I stand

~ Joni Mitchell, Clouds

Exciting News – We’re Making A Film.

I wanted to share some fun and exciting news with you! Back In April when I was in Vancouver, BC celebrating my grandparent’s 60th wedding anniversary, I was reading Patti Smith’s, ‘Just Kids.’Not only was I unbelievably inspired and moved, I realized how lazy I had become as an artist. I asked myself a few questions. What happened to doing something creative every day? What happened to doing something for my art every day? I used to do that.

I had been entertaining the idea of writing a short film for my blog, but thinking and doing, are two very different things. Well….it’s time! I have written my first film, and I am excited to share with you that we will be shooting it this month! I wanted to give you guys, A Voice To The Writer, which is exactly what the name of the film is. I am also proud to announce that I will be working with Chris Comrie and Samantha Swan of Ardent Pictures. It’s going to be a fun and exotic shoot. Here’s a toast to Miss Patti Smith and to every artist out there, here we go.

β€œIn art and dream may you proceed with abandon. In life may you proceed with balance and stealth. For nothing is more precious than the life force and may the love of that force guide you as you go.”
― Patti Smith, Early Work, 1970-1979

xxoo Jess