Social Graces

The Idea Of Social Graces / Well Its Never Been My Thing / You See, I’d Rather Be Lost In Some Sweet Mellow Daydream / Always Trying To Hide The Absolute Real Thing / On The Road Of Lost Love / I’ve Lost My Grace As A Dove / Thoughts Swarming Over Me / Shotgun Bang Here I Go Again / Only To Wake Up In My Shame / Will Someone Please Wake Me / Or Hey, Maybe Take Me To A Place Where They’ll Save Me / Bathe Me / To Pray Me / Isolate Me / My Heart Broken And Interwoven / Social Graces It’s A Game / I Think We’re All The Same /

Written By

Jessica Hinkson

Thank You

 You Are The Hope Of The World

Buddhism teaches that the lotus flower grows in muddy water, what this means is that our supremely noble lives continue to shine even amid the harshest of life’s realities, just like the pure white lotus flower that blooms unsoiled by the mud.

Having gone through what you have, there is pain and suffering in others’ hearts that only you can notice. Having suffered what you have, there is true love and affection that only you can find. There are definitely people out there who need you. If you give up on yourself, it is only you who will lose.

Nothing, no matter what happens, can change your inherent worth. Please have courage. Please tell yourself that you are not going to let this ordeal defeat you.

 – Author Unknown

 

In grade school I was bullied for three years, it was the early nineties, and the topic of bullying was not a conversation anyone was having. There was name calling, endless prank calls, graffiti painted on the bathroom stalls about me, and the principal of my school refused to take any action. I was chased wherever I went, publicly humiliated; I think you get the point. Throughout those years I did not have any support. There was not an open line of communication for me anywhere or with anyone.

Moving on to high school, I was trying to figure out how I would survive, so I took on a false persona. I was the ‘tell it like it is’ chick and the only person I got in to trouble was myself. I lipped off to the teachers, I created entire dramas out of nothing, but for the first time the other kids began to accept me. When I finished high school I had just managed to graduate, my not caring attitude had almost flunked me.

The reality was that I cared more than most people about fitting in. At the end of the day all I wanted to know, was that I belonged.

As soon as I received my Grade Twelve diploma I hightailed it to LA! The plan was to become famous within one year, so I could look back at everyone and say, ‘I told you so.’ I was seventeen years old and in the middle of my audition for a full-time scholarship my body seized, I froze. The over confident, non-caring persona that I had taken on for so long had failed me, I guess like me, it was tired too. Tired of being someone I was not, tired of being inauthentic. I didn’t get the scholarship, I was devastated, but it was the first time I realized that I had a lot of work to do on myself and I better get to it.

I returned home to Vancouver a year later and I got myself in to therapy; it was up to me to create a support system for myself and I did begin what I have now realized is a life process. Learning to love myself, to be an authentic person, and someone of integrity. I have learned that vulnerability is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength.

A few years back, a great friend of mine and I were out at Karaoke. In between our ballads of nineties rock I was speaking to him about being hooked on things people had said about me over the years that I still felt hurt about.

He said, ‘Sweetheart, you know I think the world of you, people are always going to offer their opinions whether you ask for them or not. So the next time someone says something to you, just smile and say, ‘Thank You.’

That has been the best piece of advice anyone has offered me.

That night, I also realized that the only true critic is myself. That I have a choice to take on what someone else thinks of me or not. The only time a criticism, a judgment, or a thought, can become a reality is if I make it one.

So the next time someone freely offers their opinion to you, simply smile and say, ‘Thank You.’  Know that you are enough, and that you are someone who does matter. Take a deep breath. On the tough days, hold this quote close to your heart. You are worth it.

Written By

Jessica Hinkson

Cactus Tree

There’s a man who’s been out sailing
In a decade full of dreams
And he takes her to a schooner
And he treats her like a queen
Bearing beads from California
With their amber stones and green
He has called her from the harbor
He has kissed her with his freedom
He has heard her off to starboard
In the breaking and the breathing
Of the water weeds
While she was busy being free

There’s a man who’s climbed a mountain
And he’s calling out her name
And he hopes her heart can hear
Three thousand miles he calls again
He can think her there beside him
He can miss her just the same
He has missed her in the forest
While he showed her all the flowers
And the branches sang the chorus
As he climbed the scaley towers
Of a forest tree
While she was somewhere being free

There’s a man who’s sent a letter
And he’s waiting for reply
He has asked her of her travels
Since the day they said goodbye
He writes “Wish you were beside me
We can make it if we try”
He has seen her at the office
With her name on all his papers
Thru the sharing of the profits
He will find it hard to shake her
From his memory
And she’s so busy being free

There’s a lady in the city
And she thinks she loves them all
There’s the one who’s thinking of her
There’s the one who sometimes calls
There’s the one who writes her letters
With his facts and figures scrawl
She has brought them to her senses
They have laughed inside her laughter
Now she rallies her defenses
For she fears that one will ask her
For eternity
And she’s so busy being free

There’s a man who sends her medals
He is bleeding from the war
There’s a jouster and a jester
And a man who owns a store
There’s a drummer and a dreamer
And you know there may be more
She will love them when she sees them
They will lose her if they follow
And she only means to please them
And her heart is full and hollow
Like a cactus tree
While she’s so busy being free

Cactus Tree

By Joni Mitchell

Capture

I’m In Love With You / Feel Like I Can’t Live Without You /

I Am Scared To See You / Can’t Breathe Around You / I Told You / Throw My Arms Around You / I Wanna Hold You / Wanna Smell The Smell Of You / Gonna Wanna Kiss You Too / I Am Feeling Lonely Here Without You / Who Are You / Where Are You / Is There Ever A Time For A Us / You Know, A Me, And, A You / That’s Where I’ll Be Waiting Through The Thick And The Through

Written By

Jessica Hinkson

Sunday With Jim

People need Connectors
Writers, heroes, stars, leaders
To give life form.
A child’s sand boat facing
the sun.
Plastic soldiers in the miniature
dirt war. Forts.
Garage Rocket Ships
Ceremonies, theatre, dances
To reassert Tribal needs & memories
a call to worship, uniting
above all, a reversion,
a longing for family & the
safety magic of childhood.

Jim Morrison

It’s Okay To Ask

Sometimes we don’t know that we are enough. Sometimes you do have to reach out seeking support from the people who are in your front row. The people who you hold close to your heart, and hold them even closer. Sometimes you need to be held and let the love shine in from the people who care about you, who do want to nurture you. It isn’t enough to give, you must also, take. The stories’, the noise that is in your mind, exists for all of us, each with our own stories. Remember, you are not alone. On the days that are uneasy, where it feels like you cannot breathe; do ask someone for a hug. Not only does a hug feel amazing, it has been medically proven that a hug lowers stress levels, improves nerve function, and improves moods.

Hug Department:  Always Open

      ~Author Unknown

Do get outside and surround yourself with nature, make yourself a nourishing meal, book a massage. Hug your dog or cat, trust me they won’t ever say that it is too much. Play your favorite song a hundred times and dance with pure freedom in your kitchen! Have a bubble bath, light some candles, take your space and make it sacred. Be kind to yourself, and remember that it is okay to ask.

Written By Jessica Hinkson

Moonlight Ride

Hey You, I Wanna Go On A Moonlight Ride / Down To The Ocean – In Front Of The Stars / To See Your Big Beautiful Eyes / I Wanna Hear The Crash Of The Wave / Watch Them Grow So High / As We Stand In The Moonlight And Let Our Souls Collide / I Wanna Sing Sweet Songs / I Want You To Play Me A Drum / Let The Light Between Us Be Our Only Guide / Two Open Heart’s / Yup This Is Where We Start /

Hold My Hand As We Stand Here In The Sand / Two Naked Souls / So Yummy And Full / I Dive Into You As You Dive Into Me / Here Together Is Where You And I’ll Be / Hello Big Ocean / Hello Moon And Stars / Hello To The Dolphins And All The Solo Guitars / You Be Our Witness Out There In The Big Blue / Seal Our Kisses Out From The Galaxy / Yahoo /

And From Our Land On Which We Stand / Let’s Seal It Me And You / Our Two Beautiful Souls Leading With Our Heart’s All Anew /

Written By Jessica Hinkson

Sun Sleep

Can’t Stop Thinking / No Where To Hide / But Today It’s Beautiful With The Wind Outside / I See Kids At The Park / Going Down Slides / How Gleefully They Glide / Their Smiles Wide / How Open Without A Care / It Frees The Air / I Feel A Breeze On My Face I Know I Can’t Erase / So I Look At The Sun In Wonderment For Fun / Be Gentle / To Kind / Let Your Heart Soar Beyond To The Valley Where You’ll Shed And Have Glory Unread / Hear The Song In That Breeze / It Almost Brings You To Your Knees / Beauty / Peace / Fulfillment In These Days / Go To The Valley / Hear The Voice In The Trees / Open Armed Bandit Will Greet You With Ease /

Written By Jessica Hinkson